The Great Indian Pro Cockfight Might Soon Be The Big Money Spinner In Sports


Bangcock, India: After the astounding success of Pro Kabbadi, the stars from Planet Bollywood, in consultation with their astrologers, and the stars in the sky, have come out with another alternative for cricket that they feel will be a major money-spinner: The Great Indian Pro cockfight!

After much soul and bank-account searching, the inhabitants of Planet Bollywood have come to the conclusion that what really sells a sport is star endorsement. It doesn’t really matter if the team name of a macho sport has pink in it as long as it has the blessings of Amitabh, Aishwarya and Abhishek Bacchan, in that particular order.

What really matters is that the sport has to have all the ingredients of a successful Saas-Bahu serial. Now, imagine you eliminate the human element from the sport altogether. More profits. Or so you thought. No need to pay a cock to fight.

The idea seemed perfect till someone mentioned Maneka Gandhi, that self-proclaimed champion of animal rights, who would consider herself wronged if this ever went up on TV. But Bollywood is about bright ideas.

Their plan now is to make aspiring method actors dress up as cocks, teach them about the ways of the cock, and pit them against each other. That way human involvement could be kept down to a minimal. Sources reveal that the winner could get to play the lead in a film about a Manipuri boxer.

The project, with the blessings of Lord Balaji, is already underway. So, the next time you hang out with your buddies at a pub, be prepared to watch men dressed as cocks, being led out by skimpily clad models, beat the shit out of each other. And in this celebration of our masculinity we can all raise our glasses in unison and say, “Cheers!”

Here’s hoping this novel idea sees the light of the day soon.

Author: Abhijit Pakrashi

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