Screwing with CJ: Kim Jong-un Interview — Supreme Leader of DPR of Korea
Transcript of the interview recorded earlier at top secret TNN Headquarters: In this exclusive interview, TNN’s Creative Jughead a.k.a. CJ tries to replicate Skylark’s achievement in the movie “The Interview” but was not able to because of CIA interference.
He interviews Kim Jong-un, the Supreme Leader of Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, and gets answers to some of the questions that the world didn’t really care about.
CJ: Thank you, Mr. Supreme Leader for giving us the opportunity to interview you.
SL: You are welcome, CJ. I thought that since no one takes you and me seriously, we should sit down and not take anyone seriously.
“TNN is almost as famous as I am.” — Kim Jong-un
CJ: Before we begin the interview, I would like to congratulate you on the successful testing of the H-Bomb.
SL: H-Bomb? Oh! You mean the huge cloud of smoke that was released! That was not a bomb; it was mostly smoke from our pressure cookers. In North Korea we are so disciplined that everyone in the country cooks their meals at the exact same time.
CJ: That’s quite a revelation, Kim. North Korea has been kept hidden from the world; why don’t you open the country to rest of the world?
SL: We will open North Korea to the world when the rest of the countries are obliterated. We can then charge a premium for people to stay in North Korea. North Korea is just like whiskey; the longer it is hidden, the more exotic it will become.
CJ: The world knows you as someone who hates the American way of life, but our sources say that you are an NBA fan. Can you tell us who the real Kim is?
SL: Who says I hate the American way of life?
“North Korean Government doesn’t hate America or its assets.” — Kim Jong-un
CJ: All your songs are about killing Americans and destroying America. Is all you ever think about is destroying America?
SL: Says who?
CJ: We have English translations of your songs.
SL: Those translations are done by enemies of North Korea. It’s all about interpretation. There is nothing I can do if you believe in their interpretation, except killing you.
CJ: I understand. Let’s move on to something that is not political. We have heard that you are a big movie buff. So, which one do you prefer, Bollywood or Hollywood?
SL: To be frank, CJ, I am a big Bollywood fan. I especially love the 70’s movie villains. They had class. Also, I am a big fan of SRK and Farah Khan; they dared to spread the truth about North Korea when nobody else did. I salute them.
CJ: It was fun interviewing you, Kim. Although I agreed to only ask those questions to which you had provided the answers already, I want to deviate from the topic and ask something off the record.
SL: Go ahead! But, before that, just take a good look at the gun pointed towards that hairy guy in your team.
CJ: Understood, Kim! What is your opinion of Donald Trump?
SL: Trump is my homie. We think alike. We are closer than any of you can ever imagine.
After this answer the Supreme Leader got up and walked out with what appeared to be a wry smile on his face.
Check out previous Screwing with CJ interviews:
Author: Anshul Srivastava