Democrats And Republicans To Outsource Their Election Campaigns To BJP
Washington/New York: Impressed by the crowd gathered at New York’s Central Park and Madison Square Garden, the Republican and Democratic parties are considering outsourcing their election campaigns to the BJP (the political outfit responsible for Mr. Modi’s paid vacations).
Both parties were impressed by the multitudes gathered at both the events and also the response that Narendra Modi received by the people.
The crowd that gathered in New York was amazing. Be it India or America, Modi seems to be able to gather a large crowd for himself, while we can’t gather even half of that crowd. That’s incredible!
- Grand Old Party Supporter, Loves Extra Cheese Hamburger with Diet Coke
The Democrats and Republicans were so influenced by the manner in which the two public functions were organised that they are giving a serious thought on outsourcing the next Presidential election campaign to India. Apart from the cost benefits that this would result in, both parties are trying to tap into the huge pool of talent and experience in India.
The Indian youth is more knowledgeable about the US than the youth here. Ask them what the capital of Utah is and they would tell you the capital, its population and the colleges in that state. They know about the US more than we do. They even sound more American than our poll guys. Also, they are quite used to taking abuse from American customers over the phone and hence would be an ideal choice as campaigners.
- Democrat Supporter, Avid Hater of Indian Curry
BJP’s Gujarati supporters who were quick to smell this opportunity have contacted the BJP headquarters so that this opportunity could be capitalized on.
It is being speculated that Amit Shah, the current BJP president, is busy assembling an experienced team from a well known IT company, which could sell BJP’s USP of managing elections and winning it.
BJP is hoping that if the outsourcing of election campaigns to India becomes possible, it would be a new trend-setter by bringing in jobs and money to India.
Managing US elections from India would be the first of its kind. It will herald a new era for the country and soon, India will be able to decide who the next President of the US will be.
- Bearded Shah, CFO, BJP Inc.
Meanwhile, other Indian parties have been crying foul at this news. They feel that since Narendra Modi had visited as the Prime Minister of India and not as the BJP supremo, he should have made a pitch about the other parties as well. While other parties are still contemplating their next step, the Mango People Party has decided to send across its sales team across the world and capture the market of political protests.
We are a group of common people and we have plenty of experience protesting all over the place, be it the Parliament, the local municipality office or even the local public toilet. If the BJP manages to bag this contract, then we would go protest at the Statue of Liberty.
- Surendra Kejariwal, Mango People Party.
Author: Anshul Srivastava