Canada Makes Major Changes to the Definition of Weather: No More Spring in Canada
Ottawa: In a decision that could have a serious impact on Canadian culture, Canada’s government announced that there would be no more spring in Canada. In a cabinet meeting held at parliament hill, the government decided to overhaul the structure of seasons.
“There have been many complaints from the people of Canada that spring does not arrive in the country and that summers are being too short, and winters are being too long. Complaints like these bring down the general morale of the country. Hence, in order to uplift public morale, the government has decided that there would be only 3 seasons in Canada.”
- Spokesperson for internal affairs
The government, in its landmark decision, has decided to change the way weather is defined in Canada. Starting from June 2016, there would be only three seasons in Canada: summer, fall, and winter. Spring has been removed from the calendar altogether, while the schedule for other seasons has been altered.
From 2016, summer in Canada would start in May and go on until the end of September, and from there on, the country would experience fall until the end of January. Winters would be shorter, lasting from February to April.
“In the current climatic scenario, people often feel depressed because of long winters and the failure of spring to arrive on time. Hence, we decided to bring a positive change to the weather discussions in the country and bring a smile to Canadian faces.”
- Weather Expert, Toronto Weather Update
The decision has evoked a mixed response in the country. Most people who felt dejected after the removal of spring from the calendar are now excited about the shorter winters.
“It means that I would wear that 4-pound jacket only for 4 months. I feel so happy. Now, I can enjoy summers without going to Miami.”
- Kyra, 17 month old Canadian
Kyra makes a fair point. This decision could ensure that Canada as we know it may no longer exist.
Author: Anshul Srivastava